Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
