You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
