Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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