He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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