I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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