matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
