So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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