Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
