3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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