Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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