A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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