Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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