Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
