"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
