You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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