My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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