so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
