you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
