Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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