I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
How external is "for external use only"?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
