Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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