My pussy is not your playground.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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