fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
