i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
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And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
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My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.