We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize