I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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