but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
