It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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