I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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