Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize