I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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