and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize