have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
