I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
FUCK WHALES
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
