I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
