My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
