I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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