First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
