I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
