You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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