We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
