singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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