Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's shark week go big or go home
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize