i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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