you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
