today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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