did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
