You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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