Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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