We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
