I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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