i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
