If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.