in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.