I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.