no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
