their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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