I'm really into asian looking animals
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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