Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize